


Blood Through The Doorway

by CountvonVestra



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, Grief/Mourning, I'm not sure what to tag this, M/M, One-Shot, This is my first Three Houses fic please don't bully me, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountvonVestra/pseuds/CountvonVestra
Summary: The five year war is now over, but rebellions are still on the rise in the Kingdom and the Alliance. Lots of things can happen in battle, but this particular thing is something Ferdinand was trying so hard to avoid.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Blood Through The Doorway

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first completed Three Houses one-shot, so if I got anything incorrect I'm sorry. :( I'm still pretty new to the Three Houses fandom. But I hope you enjoy!

Ferdinand can feel blood soaking into his side as they back up into the corner of the fortress. Dorothea stands in front of them, gloved blood-coated hands raised with a yellow glow surrounding them. Soldiers are fighting all around them, trying to help as Ferdinand and Hubert get backed into this corner. Hubert’s body is nearly limp, and Ferdinand knows if he lets him go he’d collapse. 

“Ferdinand…” Hubert’s whisper is barely audible over the metal hitting metal, the spells being thrown left and right. 

Ferdinand turns his head to look at him. His eyes are nearly shut and his head is starting to loll to the side. “Hubert?” Ferdinand stops when their backs are nearly against the wall. Hubert doesn’t respond verbally, just a very soft almost whine comes out. 

“Dorothea! I can’t leave Hubert!” Ferdinand calls out, turning Hubert in his hold so both of his arms are wrapped around the other’s waist. Hubert’s head falls against Ferdinand’s shoulder.

Dorothea turns her head to look at the two, panic in her eyes. “Just stay back there with him! As soon as I’m done I’ll go get Linhardt, just try to stop the bleeding!” She yells quickly before rushing back into battle, taking out a dagger that was strapped to her leg. 

Ferdinand quickly readjusts how he’s holding Hubert so he can get on the ground on his knees with the taller man laid across his thighs. Hubert’s eyes are barely open, but they look slowly around where they’re at. They’re out of focus and his skin is a ghostly white. Paler than his usual pale, and it makes Ferdinand feel a little nauseous. He pulls out his cravat from under his armor and quickly presses it against the wound on Hubert’s stomach. 

Hubert lets out a little yelp and his body jolts, trying to pull away. 

“No, Hubert, don’t move!” Ferdinand rushes out, putting more pressure on the wound to hopefully keep Hubert stationary. “Just please don’t move. You need to stay completely still. You’ve already bled out a lot, and we need it to slow down. Dorothea and the soldiers are trying to break through so we can get you to Linhardt. Just please try to stay still.”

A lost noise escapes from Hubert’s lips and his hand presses against Ferdinand’s. Blood is soaking quickly into the cravat and Ferdinand can feel warm blood coating his palm. Hubert’s hand feels cold against the warm skin of the other’s hand. 

“You can’t just jump into danger like that,” Ferdinand whispers, the arm wrapped securely around Hubert’s torso tightening to keep him steady. “I think you’d even agree that was stupid.”

Hubert’s eyes flutter a little. His fringe covering his right eye is soaking in blood from the wound on his head that was made by him falling and bashing his head against the ground. The blood in his hair is making it all matted and tangled, and it’s drying. Ferdinand can already feel the gross dried blood against his hands when he will scrub Hubert’s hair until it’s back to its usual fluffy wavy state. 

Hubert will probably grumble and groan how he can do it himself despite his injuries. It will take more than just a one-time heal for everything to actually heal completely. Linhardt will probably be at Hubert’s wounds for a good few weeks. The stab wound is deep - so deep that the sword that stabbed Hubert was almost through his back. His head wound would definitely leave a concussion, and his skull was probably shattered from the harsh stones that were thrown up in the midst of fighting. The cuts across his body will be the easier part.

Ferdinand’s hand presses a little harder against the stab wound. Blood is still pooling out and the cravat is almost completely soaked in blood. Usually he’d care more about the stupid piece of fabric, but that’s if it was a smaller, more miniscule injury. A deep cut that will heal within a few days with daily healing spells. But this is different. This is a deathly injury. So, this stupid piece of fabric doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter even more because the wound is Hubert’s. 

“I’m...sor...sorry,” Hubert gets out, but it’s strained and he sounds pained as he forces himself to speak. He opens his mouth to say something else, but he quickly closes it and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Don’t force yourself to speak. We can talk when we get back and you’re safe and sound in the infirmary. You can apologize then for being so reckless. To me and to Edelgard, because I know she’s going to be worried to hell,” Ferdinand says in a soothing voice. “You can’t be so reckless... I can’t- We can’t lose you. You’re a jewel of the Empire. You’re Edelgard’s vassal. You’re my fiance. We got through the five year war together. I can’t lose you. Not now. Not ever.”

Ferdinand feels like he’s starting to choke up. Tears are welling in his eyes and he can’t help but to feel like his heart is being smashed into pieces. He’s seen Hubert hurt over dozens of times. Whether it was when they were students at Garreg Mach Monastery, or soldiers in the war to unify Fódlan. But this is different than those times, because this time it feels like a death sentence. 

Ferdinand looks over at Dorothea. Her moves are graceful and swift, taking out enemies one by one. She is slowly becoming a red and black blob in the distance. He can’t help but to feel like he should be out there helping, but he can’t leave Hubert. He hates to think about it - he loathes to think about it - but if Hubert died without him here to hold him, he’d never forgive himself. But he can’t think about Hubert dying, he just can’t. Because he isn’t going to die! He’s going to make it out alive! That’s what he just needs to keep telling himself, because then, maybe the goddess will actually make it happen. This is where he prays that the goddess is real. 

It’s his turn to squeeze his eyes shut to try and stop the tears from leaving his eyes. His head lowers a little, chin pressed against cold armor. An even colder sensation then meets his cheek, and he opens his eyes. Hubert is looking up at him and his hand is reaching up and is cupping Ferdinand's cheek lightly. Ferdinand can see the tears in Hubert’s eyes. The tears he never lets anyone see, but he can’t control it now. 

Hubert looks sorrowful and his eyes say it all. But Ferdinand just shakes his head quickly. 

“Don’t you dare say goodbye,” Ferdinand rushes out quickly. “This isn’t goodbye! You’re going to make it, Hubert. You have to make it.”

“I...I…” Hubert trails off and looks pained. A soft huff leaves him, and pain is laced within it and his facial features show it. A few tears roll down from his eyes and down his temple. He blinks quickly, trying to force the tears away. His hand is slowly going limp against Ferdinand’s cheek, his body slowly getting weaker and weaker. 

Ferdinand can feel the fresh blood on his skin where Hubert’s hand once was pressed against. His mind was starting to spiral and he felt like the world around them was spinning. He looks back over to where Dorothea was and he can see she’s almost gotten the corner they’re in cleared. But there’s still too many knights and soldiers for Ferdinand to pick up Hubert and run to wherever Linhardt is. He doesn’t even know where Linhardt is. He could be anywhere in this fortress. It could take him a long time to find him alone. 

There’s a part of Ferdinand that wants to tell Hubert he can let go. That he doesn’t have to fight anymore. But the other part of him is stubborn and wants to tell Hubert to keep fighting because letting go can’t be an option. These two parts are starting a war inside of him. It makes him want to rip his hair out by the root.

“Hubert…” Ferdinand starts, but the words catch in this throat and he chokes back a sob that so badly wants to escape. “You know I love you so much right? I love you more than anything in this world. I should’ve tried to protect you better.”

“Don’t…” Hubert nearly hisses out. “Don’t...blame yourself. This isn’t...your fault.”

Ferdinand lets out a sharp, broken laugh. He looks down at Hubert. A thin stream of blood is running out from the corner of his mouth and he can feel his heart stop for a second. “You’re going to have to leave me now, aren’t you?” He whispers. 

Hubert’s eyes are glassy and he looks lost. His mouth keeps opening and closing as if he wants to say something, but the words keep getting caught. More blood escapes his mouth and a soft whine leaves escapes without meaning to. 

“Ferdi...nand…” Hubert forces himself to say. He coughs up blood, it coming out in splatters all over his pale face. 

Ferdinand sucks in a worried breath and moves his hand to wipe off the splattered blood away. “Hubert, don’t speak,” He rushes out. “Obviously it’s not helping your situation.”

“If I’m gon...gonna die, I’m going...to...use my last bre...breathe to tell you how much...I love you…” Hubert gets out, his voice starting to fade with more harsh coughs coming after. Ferdinand notices as Hubert tries to raise his hand, probably to put it against the other’s cheek again, but he can’t find the strength. Ferdinand takes the initiative and grabs Hubert’s hand, gently pressing it against his cheek. 

“I love you so much, my love,” Ferdinand says gently. “You… You don’t have to fight anymore, Hubert. You can let go. I know you’re in so much pain and fighting so hard to stay alive, but you don’t have to anymore. I’ll hold you until you breathe your last breath. Let go, my beloved.”

Hubert’s eyes widen as much as they can and he suddenly looks scared. “I can’t…” He whispers. Immediately after he breaks into a fit of hard coughs. Blood immediately, once again splatters all over his face and his body shudders from the harsh convulsions. Once the coughs subsides, he breathes hard and sharp. He shakes his head the best he can. “I...I can wait...until Linhardt comes… I can make...make it… I don't...want to leave you...”

Ferdinand shakes his head, his grip on Hubert’s hand tightening. “If you feel like you can’t fight anymore, just promise me you won’t keep trying to fight. Promise me that if it gets too much you will let go. You can’t make yourself suffer longer than you need to. I’m going to be here. I’m going to hold you until the end. Even if the end isn’t right now, I will still be there to hold you until the end.”

Ferdinand slowly lets go of Hubert’s hand and lays it against his stomach. He wraps his free arm around Hubert’s waist and pulls him closer, putting his face between Hubert’s head and shoulder. 

Hubert’s breathing goes soft and he closes his eyes, letting his body lay in Ferdinand’s arms. Ferdinand notices how his body completely goes limp, and his heart starts beating faster and an unsettling feeling takes home in his gut. Worry takes him over, but instead of moving to check if Hubert’s still with him, he just holds him tighter, pulling him as close as possible. 

\--

Dorothea shoots a Meteor spell a few feet in front of her, floating off of the ground for a good few seconds before her feet fall back onto the stone. Her mind can’t stop thinking about the two that are somewhere behind her. She hasn’t dared to turn back around. By now they’re probably just a blur of orange and black in her vision. 

She’s aware of how far she’s wandered since Ferdinand laid Hubert down and told her that he couldn’t leave him. 

Ever since she kept on fighting, she’s been frantically looking around for Linhardt, or even for Edelgard. It haunts her to know that Edelgard has no idea what’s going on ever since the three of them broke off from the rest to try to make a dent from another direction. And she knows Ferdinand is probably angry at her. It was her idea, after all. Hubert’s hurt near death because of her stupid idea. 

Her mind can’t rest and it makes her moves more harsh and angered in a way. Taking her anger out on the enemy. In her mind all she can see is red. Every single thing is turning red, scorching everything. 

The grip she has on her dagger tightens as she sees a bowman aiming at her through the corner of her eye. With one swift movement, she twirls her body in a circle, flipping the dagger in her hand so her fingers are holding the tip of the blade before throwing it. She watches as the blade hits right in between the eyes of the bowman. 

Dark brown strands of hair cascade over her face and she lowers her head into her hands, standing right in an open area of the fortress. She rips off her bloodied gloves, letting her hands come up to cover her face as sharp inhales and exhales make her body shake. The fighting around her has yet to cease, and she knows she needs to keep going, but her thoughts are becoming louder. 

All she can think of is, ‘This is your fault. No one will forgive you for this reckless idea.’ She wants to scream. She wants to let her hands grip her hair and tear it out strand by strand. She even briefly thinks about letting Ferdinand take her out with his lance. ‘I deserve it,’ is what she thinks.

She lets her hands fall back to her sides and she starts walking towards the battle once again. Her hands glow orange and yellow, a hint of purple mixing with the others, and she feels heat radiating around her body. Sparks form here and there, a spell that is just on the tip of her tongue, on the edge of her mind, lingers. She faces her palms outwards towards the knights and the soldiers. Her feet float off the ground once again, Swarm immediately coming out and hitting the enemies in front of her. 

“Miss Dorothea!” A knight calls and Dorothea immediately turns her head to look. The enemies are scarce now around them. She realizes her spell must have done a domino effect, taking a good chunk out instead of the few she thought it would affect. “I think we got it covered from here, you can go back.”

Dorothea breathes heavily and nods quickly. “Thank you,” She rushes out and turns quickly. She walks quickly back to where she left Ferdinand and Hubert. Her legs feel shaky and she can’t stop the panic rising in her chest. She feels nauseous, but she pushes it aside. The corner of the fortress starts coming back into view. They come back into view.

\--

The minutes pass, and Ferdinand still hesitates to move. Hubert’s body has not moved for several of those minutes and Ferdinand feels like he’s not breathing anymore. The dread of being faced with his dead fiance fills him. He doesn’t think he’s ready. He knows he told Hubert he didn’t need to fight. And he meant that. But knowing that Hubert is potentially gone makes his heart feel like it’s been set on fire.

Despite his hesitation, he slowly pulls himself away from Hubert. Hubert’s eyes are closed and his mouth is just barely slightly open. His one hand that was previously wrapped around his torso falls back to the ground, hitting the stones below them with a soft thump. Ferdinand looks at him. Tears form, but no sobs try to escape his throat. 

He slowly puts his head down, putting his ear right up against Hubert’s chest. Nothing. He readjusts his ear against Hubert’s chest, even turns his head to the other side, because maybe - just maybe - his other ear isn’t working. But still, there is nothing. Tears rush from Ferdinand’s eyes and his breathing becomes shaky. The words Hubert managed to get out before go in circles in Ferdinand’s head.

“I love you…” Ferdinand whispers, voice trailing off. He still has his head against his beloved’s chest. “I’ll never stop loving you. You will always be...my one and only.” His words break in his throat and he slowly pulls his head away. He pulls Hubert’s body back into a crushing hold, burying his face against Hubert’s neck. 

“Ferdinand…?” A soft voice passes through his ears. 

Ferdinand slowly raises his head and is greeted with Dorothea. Her eyes are big, and tears are welling in them. She slowly brings her hands up to her chin and she keeps looking in between Ferdinand and Hubert. 

“Is he…? Please say he’s not,” Dorothea begs. “Please say he’s still here.”

All the words Ferdinand can say die as he’s about to say them. All he can manage is to shake his head. More tears immediately rush down his reddened cheeks. He lowers his head so Dorothea can’t see his face. Orange hair covers his face perfectly. 

“Ferdinand, I’m so sorry… If I hadn’t come up with that stupid idea…” She trails off and a sob escapes her throat. “I’m so sorry!”

Ferdinand shakes his head. “We have to tell Edelgard,” Ferdinand says instead of responding to Dorothea. “She has to know that Hubert’s dead.” Those two words taste sour in his mouth. Taste rotten and not right. But the words are true. 

“I’ll go find her,” Dorothea says and turns quickly. Her walk is swift and she doesn’t dare to turn back around to look at Ferdinand. 

Ferdinand adjusts how he’s holding Hubert, holding his legs with one arm and supporting his back with the other. He stands up as carefully as possible. As if Hubert’s still there inside his body. As if he can still feel pain. Either way, dead or alive, Ferdinand will always be gentle with him. 

\--

Edelgard holds her axe tightly in her grip, but a smile is on her face and she’s proud. The fortress has been cleared of the enemy. She’s happy that the Black Eagle Strike Force still have it in them after the war of unifying Fódlan.

“Great job, everyone! We did it!” Edelgard announces. She looks around for the other three. “Have you guys seen the other three?”

“Haven’t seen them since they decided to go off to break a dent into a different side,” Caspar says and looks around. “We should go look for them.”

“Wh-what if they’re hurt?! What if the enemies kidnapped them and we have to go look for them?!” Bernadetta squeaks and holds her bow close to her chest. “Th-they just wouldn’t not come back!”

“Bernadetta, calm down, I’m sure they’re fine. The fortress is big, I’m sure they’re on their way back right now,” Linhardt reasons and gently pats her shoulder. “I can’t wait to get back. I’m ready for a nice nap.” He yawns and lets his eyes flutter shut.

Edelgard nods. “Linhardt is right, Bernadetta. I’m sure they’re on their way back right now.”

“Maybe we should be looking for them to make it be faster?” Petra suggests, putting her sword back in its sheath. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” Edelgard agrees with a nod. She starts walking and she can tell the others are following her. The knights and soldiers are cleaning up the bodies of the enemies around the fortress. She tries to not let Bernadetta’s worried get to her, but deep down she is worried. They went off pretty early into the fight. But it’s not impossible that they just got held up. 

Her eyes wander around the fortress. One that was just finished recently because Edelgard, herself, wanted it. It was built quickly and sturdily, and she isn’t even the slightest surprised that it was already invaded. The Black Eagle Strike Force knows the layout - mostly Hubert who stayed up late at night helping her design what she wanted. He, just like Edelgard, knows the ins and outs. That’s why he went to help Dorothea and Ferdinand. It was sturdy and held up well, but there are spots that will need to get fixed up. 

As Edelgard looks around, finally bringing her focus to in front of her, she sees Dorothea striding quickly towards them. “Dorothea!” Edelgard gets out, sounding relieved. “I’m so happy we found you! Where are the boys?”

Dorothea slows down and cups her hands in front of her. Tears streak her face and she opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. 

“Dorothea…?” Edelgard stops in her tracks and looks around the other. “Where are Hubert and Ferdinand? Are you okay?"

“I'm fine. Edelgard...I don’t know how to say this… I didn’t want to say this to you,” Dorothea rushes out. She looks at the others whose faces are paled and they look between Dorothea and Edelgard. She knows they’ve already probably pieced it together just by Dorothea’s face and her words. 

Edelgard’s face turns stoney. “Dorothea, where are they?” Her voice turns just as stoney as her face. She takes steps forward. “Are they hurt? Is one of them hurt?” She tries to get around Dorothea, but the taller girl puts her arm out to stop her before side-stepping to get in her way. “Dorothea, this isn’t funny!”

“Hubert’s dead,” Dorothea chokes out quietly and Edelgard’s whole expression changes. She blinks several times before slowly shaking her head.

“That isn’t funny,” Edelgard nearly snaps and goes to try and walk around Dorothea again, but Dorothea once again blocks her.

“I’m not joking, Edelgard!” Dorothea cries and more tears rush down her face. She glances up at the others who are staring at them. Bernadetta has her hands clapped over her mouth and Petra has an arm wrapped around her. Linhardt has his hand over his mouth while Caspar just stares wide-eyed and unbelieving. Dorothea couldn’t even imagine Byleth’s face if they were there with them. They decided to stay at the Monastery. 

Edelgard grits her teeth and looks over Dorothea’s shoulder. “Hubert! Come out here this instant, this isn’t funny! Ferdinand, you of all people should know how cruel this joke-” She cuts off and Ferdinand comes in view.

Ferdinand is tightly holding Hubert’s body, which is completely limp in his arms. Edelgard can see all the blood covering them both. 

“This isn’t funny!” Edelgard sobs out. Disbelief is all over her features but tears are starting to well up in her eyes. 

“Edelgard, I’m sorry, but this isn’t a joke…” Dorothea whispers.

Edelgard suddenly moves to run over to them, but Dorothea catches her by the waist and holds her tightly to her. “Hubert!” She screams and fights against Dorothea’s hold. “No! No, no, no! Hubert, please wake up! Please, you can’t be dead!” Her shrieks fill the air. She keeps fighting against Dorothea who quickly keeps one arm wrapped around her waist as the other arms wrap around her bust. 

Caspar quickly runs over to help Dorothea hold her. Tears are welling in his eyes and he can’t look away from Hubert’s dead body in Ferdinand’s arms. 

Dorothea buries her head in Edelgard’s shoulder.

“Hubert! Please! Please no!” Edelgard sobs and slowly stops fighting against Caspar and Dorothea. 

Ferdinand barely looks up at them. His tears are making his vision blurry. His grip on Hubert tightens, becoming protective. He keeps mouthing 'I’m sorry,' but the words keep catching in his throat. All he can think is, ‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect him. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I failed him. I’m sorry.’

He glances over to the others standing aside. Petra is hugging Bernadetta and Linhardt is staring at him. 

Linhardt suddenly makes a move towards them, his feet moving fast. 

“Lin, no-” Caspar starts but Linhardt shushes him. 

“Let me see him,” Linhardt says. Ferdinand slowly gets on his knees and lays Hubert on the ground. Linhardt flinches a little, becomes a little nauseous at all the blood, but he kneels down and does Recover, because maybe - just maybe - it could help. He closes his eyes, focusing, but to no avail. When he opens his eyes he comes back to reality. Edelgard’s sobs are loud and fill the quiet air. He can faintly hear Bernadetta and Dorothea crying. 

Ferdinand shakes his head. “It was a waste of effort, Lin,” He whispers. His voice is hoarse and broken. 

Linhardt shakes his head. “I had to try,” He whispers back. “He was never particularly nice to me...could be pushy and rude, but I never hated him. I cared about him. And I know he means a whole lot to you and Edelgard. I had to try.”

“Thank you, Linhardt,” Ferdinand says gently. He looks up at Edelgard. “Stay with him for a minute?” Linhardt just nods and looks down at Hubert. Ferdinand stands and slowly walks over to Edelgard. 

She looks up at Ferdinand, sobbing. “Please, Ferdinand...please say he’s okay, please,” She pleads. 

“I’m sorry,” Ferdinand whispers. “I couldn’t protect him, I’m sorry…” He then hugs her. She buries her face in his chest and more sobs immediately escape. Hot tears stream down Ferdinand’s face, but he quickly hides it by pressing his face against Edelgard’s hair. “I’m sorry, Edelgard, I’m so sorry.”

Edelgard just shakes her head. Too many thoughts are rushing through her head. A part of her wants to be angry. She wants to punch Ferdinand, to scream at him and demand why he didn’t try harder to protect Hubert. To call him names and to storm off, but she can’t find the strength in her to do it. She can’t find the will to do it to him. Because Ferdinand wouldn’t just let this happen without a fight. He lost a big part of his life too, she's not the only one being affected by this. She knows this isn’t his fault. It’s not Dorothea’s either. Nor is it Hubert’s. It’s the enemies fault. Those former kingdom rebels. They’re to blame.

“We should get back to the monastery,” Edelgard forces the words out even though it feels like her throat constricts and sobs just want to tear her apart. “We’ll stop at the monastery...get the Professor. We’ll tell them what happened, and then we’ll immediately head to Enbarr. He’s going to be buried there.”

Ferdinand slowly pulls away. He doesn’t respond, instead he just goes back over to Hubert and Linhardt. Linhardt is still looking down at the lifeless body before him. Ferdinand doesn’t say anything to Linhardt, instead he just picks up Hubert in the same position as before. 

Together, the Black Eagle Strike Force heads to the carriages waiting to take them back. Ferdinand doesn’t accept help as he clambers into a carriage, still holding his beloved to his chest. He feels the carriage shift as Edelgard climbs in after he has settled. 

“I could’ve done better to protect him,” Ferdinand whispers. He gently brushes bloody matted strands of raven black hair away from Hubert’s face. “He just went off and I tried to stay caught up with him so I could protect him… But there were too many of them and he got hurt. I fought even harder and got there, but it was too late. He was already so gravely injured, Edelgard.”

Edelgard shakes her head. “Hubert has been known to try and be independent on the battlefield even when he should also depend on others. He never accepted that he’s stronger with help…” She trailed off. She readjusted how she was sitting on the carriage floor. “Let me hold him.”

Ferdinand looks up, eyes a little wide. He wants to question her why, to hold Hubert tighter against him in a bone-crushing squeeze, but instead he just scoots closer and as gently as he can shifts Hubert’s body into Edelgard’s lap. Edelgard flinches at the sight of him, but she doesn’t look away. 

“Now...is not the time, but soon I do want to know what happened,” Edelgard says softly. Her fingers brush over Hubert’s cheek and more tears well in her eyes. Ferdinand can tell there’s many things she wants to say, but she speaks none of them aloud. He moves himself so he’s sitting directly beside Edelgard, gently wrapping his arm around her.

He can feel the millions - maybe even billions - of ‘I’m sorry’s that are just on the tip of his tongue. But he knows they won’t make things better, that they won’t fix the things that have been done. His apologies won’t bring Hubert back. And it kills him on the inside.

\--

The sky becomes overcast as they enter the gates of the monastery. The merchants, the battalion guild, the blacksmith, everyone is watching as they come through. 

Ferdinand feels frozen in place as their carriage stops right outside the gates entrance. They’re going to be leaving for Enbarr soon enough, but Ferdinand can’t bring himself to leave.

“I can’t,” He whispers to Edelgard. “I can’t leave him. I’m… I’m going to stay here.”

Edelgard looked at Ferdinand. The iron look her eyes usually possess are gone. “I’ll go with the others to find the Professor. Stay here with him,” She says and slowly stands, climbing out of the carriage. She can feel faint raindrops landing on her. She thinks the overcast skies match the gloomy atmosphere engulfing them. She sees the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force standing in the marketplace. She walks towards them, not even trying to keep her head held high. She just can’t find it in her.

“Is Ferdinand not coming with us to find the Professor?” Caspar asks. His usual buzzed hyped up demeanor isn’t there. He, instead, sounds forlorn and distant. 

“He’s going to stay with Hubert,” Edelgard states. “My guess is that they’re probably in their office. That’s where they usually stay until we get back. I want to go speak to them alone.”

“Are you sure?” Petra asks, worried. She’s still supporting a despondent Bernadetta who has her hands over her face. 

Edelgard just stands there, eyeing her shoes. “Dorothea, can you come with me?”

Dorothea is immediately taken back by Edelgard’s request, but nods quickly. “Of course.” She steps forward and takes Edelgard’s hand. 

Without another word, Edelgard squeezes Dorothea’s hand before they head off. She can feel the many eyes upon her, but she ignores it. They walk through the main hall and up the stairs to the second floor. Usually Hanneman or Manuela would be up here, but they left the monastery to do their own things. Manuela opened up a new school in the empire and Hanneman is somewhere in former Alliance territory doing his Crestology work. The only person who still takes residence on the second floor is Byleth who has made Seteth’s old office into their own. 

Edelgard marches herself and Dorothea to Byleth’s office without barely looking up from her armored feet. She only fully lifts her head to halfheartedly knock on Byleth’s office door.

Byleth looks up from pieces of parchment that are all askew on their desk. “You’re back!” They say and stand up from their desk quickly. As they come halfway around their desk they halt their movements. “I don’t like the faces I’m getting…” 

“Something happened, Professor,” Edelgard says, trying to keep her voice even, trying to keep it from breaking. Trying to keep herself from breaking down. 

Byleth slowly leans against their desk, supporting themselves using their right hand that’s pressed firmly against the desk. They don’t say anything, but instead nod solemnly, as if they already know what’s coming. 

Edelgard takes a deep breath, preparing herself to say it, but the words get cut off by a sharp sob that comes out. She covers her mouth with her free hand and squeezes her eyes shut. “I-I’m sorry-” She forces out.

“El,” Byleth says, concern lacing their voice as they finally step forward. Dorothea lets go of Edelgard’s hand so Byleth can step closer to her, grabbing onto her arms. “What happened? Is someone hurt?”

“Hubert…” Edelgard trails off before clapping her hand over her mouth. 

Byleth’s face immediately drops. “He’s dead, isn’t he?” They whisper. Edelgard can only nod in response, but Byleth immediately pulls her into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, El.” A pool of regret forms in their stomach, but they push it aside. 

“We’re going to Enbarr. Edie wants Hubie to be buried there. I think Edie really needs you to come along, if you will,” Dorothea explains gently. 

“Of course I’ll come. Are we going to hold a funeral for him?” Byleth asks and starts rubbing soothing circular motions on Edelgard’s back. Despite wearing armor, it’s like she can still feel it. It helps, but the sorrow comes back too quickly for the comfort to help. 

“A funeral…” Edelgard whispers. “I feel like Hubert wouldn’t want a funeral and would want everyone to go on with their business, but I can’t. We need to hold a funeral. Just the Black Eagle Strike Force.”

Byleth nods and slowly pulls away, looking at Dorothea. “You guys only took one carriage with you, right?” 

Dorothea nods. “Yeah, we didn’t think there would be many injured or any casualties… So we only took the one. I’ll go summon more, you just stay here with Edie.” Without a response, she turns and heads out of the office. Her heels make soft clicking noises fill the nearly empty halls. 

Edelgard buries her face against Byleth’s shoulders. “Nothing is going to be the same without him.”

\--

The funeral had come and gone like a blur, to both Ferdinand and Edelgard. Immediately as they arrived at the Imperial palace, Edelgard ordered for there to be a hole dug in a private area in the palace. A place where Edelgard had found Hubert on multiple occasions during their teen years. He was always quite fond of the place. 

A coffin was brought in from Enbarr on Edelgard's order, as well, but the instructions were clear: Keep it under wraps, don't let the reason it's needed slip out.

They buried him quietly and privately, instead of giving a little speech, each of them wrote something down for it to be buried with him. Ferdinand could hear the annoyance in Hubert’s voice. ‘That’s a waste of parchment!’, he’d say while shaking his head. It almost made Ferdinand smile. 

Bernadetta and Dorothea found spare clothes of his in the bedroom he had claimed in the palace. After scrubbing his body and hair, after wiping away all the blood, they put him in some of the spare clothes. Just a simple button-down with a tight pair of trousers that would normally be worn for a special event. 

But it all went by so fast. And now Ferdinand and Edelgard sit side-by-side only mere feet away from Hubert’s grave. Ferdinand is slightly hunched over, hands cupped together.

“A headstone is being made,” Edelgard says softly. “It should be done in the next week. Heh. God, Hubert would find this so nauseating.”

Ferdinand glances at Edelgard and nods. “He would. Mostly because it’s his funeral,” He says quietly. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Ferdinand starts speaking again, “I just can’t believe that he’s really gone. I keep expecting him to walk through those doors, that aloof look on his face like he doesn’t care about anything, but he actually cares so damn much.”

Edelgard nods and sighs, sounding distant. “I do too. But knowing he will not, and instead is underground… It doesn’t feel real.”

“I’m sorry,” Ferdinand whispers and buries his face in his hands. “I should’ve tried harder to save him, if I had gotten to him quicker this wouldn’t have-”

“Ferdinand, please stop. Believe me, I was angry with you when I first learned. I wanted to punch you in the face, I wanted to tear you to shreds with my axe. But I didn’t. Do you know why? Because I realized it isn’t your fault. It’s not yours, it’s not Dorothea’s. Because you’re not the one who attacked him. You’re not the one who killed him, Ferdinand,” Edelgard states evenly, maybe even a little fiercely. 

Ferdinand shakes his head and laughs dejectedly. “But I can’t help but to feel like it’s my fault, Edelgard. If I had gotten to him quicker, maybe that sword wouldn’t have had time to pierce into him.”

“A sword?” Edelgard turns in her spot. “Tell… Tell me what happened to him, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand sucks in a sharp breath and shakes his head. “You really want to know? I expected you to ask this maybe a few months from now, at least. At most a few years. I didn’t think you’d ask this of me right now as we sit beside his freshly put grave.”

Edelgard gives a somber shrug. “It’s gonna hurt either way. Time will never change the fact that he’s gone. Time may make the pain easier, but it will never be fully gone. A few years from now the information could cut me open as if it were a fresh wound. So I rather know now.”

“Well...if you really want to know, Edelgard, I will tell you,” He says, a disapproving tone in his voice.

_As soon as we left the group, it was a little tougher to get along. We stayed almost in a triangular formation the whole time. Dorothea stayed in front of Hubert and I and I could feel my eyes looking at Hubert every chance I could steal. I think I could feel something in my gut telling me to just watch him. Almost like it was telling me to not let Hubert leave my sight._

_I feel like I was distracted by it. My lance tore into many people, blood spilled and I know there was screams and shouts, but I do not remember them. It was a tough fight, but we made it through. I could hear the blood rushing through my ears, I could hear Hubert and Dorothea’s spells being thrown. I could hear the electricity surging from their hands as it left their palms._

_We were doing well, all things considered. I kept doubting the nagging voice in the back of my head. Because of how well we were doing. I didn’t fully believe anything bad could happen a time like then or right now. We had survived the hardest time of our lives. For five years we lived with a live or die situation, so I thought everything would be okay. It was silly of me to assume. Silly may be an understatement. Stupid would be a better word. Naive._

_Sure, there were soldiers helping us, and maybe I even thought that was gonna help us not let anything bad happen. Because it wasn’t just us three._

_But I think I’ve learned now that I can’t just assume things because sometimes those assumptions are complete and utter stupidity._

_We broke our formation and Hubert was pushing himself. He was putting himself in dangers way because he thought he could handle it. He thought he could do it alone. By the time I noticed how far he had gone, he was already hurt. He was limping and blood was soaking into his clothes from cuts from swords and axes. But there were also enemy bodies at his feet._

_I was fighting off the rebels near me as fast as I could to get to him. My eyes watched him and I was nearly tackled down, but Dorothea blasted some spell at the guy. He fell at my feet and I just ran. I took down enemies with my lance, trying so damn hard to get to him._

_But then I noticed it. The way that man’s sword stabbed into him. Hubert’s scream filled my ears and I couldn’t stop myself as I threw my lance as hard as I could into that man’s head. He fell, but as his hand let go of the sword’s handle, Hubert fell too. Onto his side, onto broken up cobblestone broken up from magic attacks. The way it felt to me felt almost like slow-mo. He collapsed and his head hit hard against the rubble. When I got to him, blood was everywhere and the look in his eyes. He looked so scared in that moment. But I could see the life slowly draining from his eyes._

_I was stupid, didn’t think. I pulled the sword out and the blood came out even quicker. I picked him up and kept him supported. His feet touched the ground, but he couldn’t find the correct footing. His feet dragged against the ground and his breathing was hard and shaky. His hands were covered in blood, his head was bleeding and I kept thinking how he’s going to have some head trauma._

_I got Dorothea’s attention and went behind her as we were backed into a corner. And that corner was where he would pass in my arms. Those moments…_

_Those moments weren’t the last I imagined with him. I would’ve died for him. I would’ve done anything to be in his place. But at the same time, I know if that had been the case he would’ve wished for the same things. For himself to be in my place dying in my arms because at least I’d make it out. And I wonder if he was thinking that before he passed. That at least he was in that place and I’m not._

_The life in his eyes drained so fast. His skin was almost grey and blood was everywhere and I tried holding pressure to the wound. I tried so hard and I still lost him. I was so in denial, and I thought death for him there wasn’t an option. I believed we would get him to Linhardt before anything worse would happen, before we lost him._

_But when I realized him fighting was just hurting him more. And I couldn’t see him in pain anymore, so I told him to let go. And I held him. I held him so close against my body and it was like...seconds after he let go. He stopped fighting and just let go, even though in normal Hubert fashion he said he wasn’t going to._

_I felt my heart break, but I also felt almost oddly at peace knowing he wasn’t in pain anymore. But it took me minutes to finally pull away and to listen to his heart. When I did, the denial set in again. But he was gone. I held him as he died in my arms. And that will always be my last memory of him until the day I die. Until I get to be with him again in the afterlife. Because I believe there is an afterlife. There has to be an afterlife._

“But now he’s gone…” Ferdinand trails off. Tears are streaking down his face and his hand is now clutching to the ring he’s wearing around his neck. The bloodied rope of a necklace with the shiny gold ring. The emerald stone digs into his hand, but he doesn’t care. He gave it to Hubert. It was the ring he proposed to Hubert with. “And even if you tell me not to blame myself, I always will. Because I was a fool.”

Edelgard is chewing hard on her bottom lip and tears are staining her pale cheeks. “He went out in a very and not very Hubert way,” Edelgard whispers. 

A sigh leaves her and she slowly stands. She looks down at Ferdinand. “How about we go get the others and have some coffee? I know the others would prefer tea, but I think everyone needs a nice cup of coffee right now.” She starts walking to the doors back into the palace. 

Ferdinand watches her for a minute before slowly standing himself. He slowly walks to Hubert’s grave and wipes his tears away. “I love you, Hubert. I hope wherever you are, you will never forget just how much I love you…” His hand tightens around Hubert’s ring. “My heart will always be yours, my beloved…” More words pool in Ferdinand’s mouth, but he feels himself getting choked up, so instead he turns and heads inside, feeling like he’s holding his bleeding bloody heart in his hands, leaving his blood through the doorway.


End file.
